On Impressioning

05 Dec On Impressioning

I love these quotes, I especially love to bring them forth to my heart when I feel above or below others or when I have feel I have not acted in the best way possible.  When I have no peace, it is definitely when I have forgotten.

I am human – are you?

And I am my own harshest critic – constantly!  I criticise, judge, harass and generally give myself a hard time until I remember I don’t have to be perfected.  Sweet relief until the ‘inner critic’ comes back into my conscious awareness for another ‘go’.

Can you relate?

I remember when my son first started his apprenticeship, he came home one day to tell me about a ‘mansion’ he was working at and how he thought the man who lived there must have ‘everything’ – that his life must be perfect.  He went on to tell me how sad this man was because of his life situation.  Joshy Darling said ‘I’ve realised something.  Even if we don’t realise it, even when things look perfect, people are still going through stuff’.  Wise words for a then 20 year old.

I dealt with a man the other day who left an ‘impression’ on me.  Our interaction involved a lot – at first he was frustrated, then angry, then sorry, then grateful – his memory, his ripple has stayed with me – his energy left an impression.

We touch each other in a myriad of ways – some people – hardly known to us can leave a mountainous impression.  Others not so much.  Do we understand it all, all of the time?

I feel reflective at this time of year.  The last week of classes and I reflect on how it has been – have I positively impacted my small part of the world, have I done my best, are there ways in which I could’ve done better – not just with teaching but parenting, daughtering, friending, partnering.

And then I recognise that I am but a mere human – some days I will do great, some days I will open my mouth and say the wrong thing, some days I will feel a little coo-coo,  I will be tired, hungry, angry, sad, I will feel silly, stupid, like I don’t know what I am doing and when I am at my wits end I will look up and see the moon at whatever stage she is at and I will realise I am doing my best, not my ‘perfect’, but my best to be a good, kind person and every now and then I stuff up and I don’t need to feel shame for that.  I could indeed feel gratitude for my humanness because in the end it connects me to you, to my family, to the people I love and to those I don’t get on quite as well with.

Shame be gone.

Human persons step forward now and quietly (or loudly) declare – there is no shame in my humaness, in the impressions I grace this world with, I am here like Arjuna on the battlefield Kurushetra in the Mahabharata, the battlefield of life doing the best I can – sometime scared, sometimes lonely, sometime jubilant remembering my humanness and yours too.  Please forgive me if I have harmed you in any way.